30 ChatGPT Prompts for Friendly Roasts That Stay Kind

Act as a speechwriter for a retirement party. Write a 90-second roast of [NAME], who retires from [ROLE] after [YEARS OF SERVICE]. Use these work habits, [THREE WORK HABITS], and one story from the team, [TEAM STORY]. The first 70 seconds are jokes and the last 20 seconds are sincere: thank them for one specific thing. Roast only if [NAME] has agreed to be teased about work; if not, ask me first. No race, religion, gender, sexuality, disability, age, body or weight, health, money trouble, breakups or grief, and no pension or family jokes. Tag any joke that uses a detail I did not give you with [VERIFY], and do not invent awards, dates or quotes.

Write a 120-word farewell roast for [NAME], who is leaving [COMPANY OR TEAM] for a new role. Keep it to jokes about meetings, coffee, inbox habits and the shared kitchen, drawn only from this list: [OFFICE HABITS]. The guest of honour must have said yes to an office roast; ask me first if I have not confirmed it. It must read well aloud at a team lunch with an HR lead in the room. Stay away from race, religion, gender, sexuality, disability, age, body or weight, health, money trouble, breakups and grief, and from pay or performance. Tag any line that needs a fact I did not give you with [VERIFY], and do not invent stories or quotes. End with one line that wishes them well.

Compare two versions of [NAME] for a retirement roast: the person who ran [ROLE] in the first year and the person who handed over in the last year. Build a five-column table with columns Habit, Then, Now, Joke and Check. Fill each row only from my notes, [TWO YEARS OF NOTES], and mark any gap with [VERIFY] instead of guessing. Before you write, check that [NAME] agreed to being teased about work; if I have not confirmed it, ask me. Keep the jokes about changes in the job. Never mention race, religion, gender, sexuality, disability, age, body or weight, health, money trouble, breakups or grief. Do not invent a single event, year or quote. Add one sincere sentence below the table.

Draft a 60-word thank-you reply that [GUEST OF HONOUR] could post after their roast, written as a draft for the guest to edit and approve before posting, in their own voice, starting from [GUEST'S OWN WORDS]. Use only these facts from me: [FACTS YOU KNOW]. The guest must have agreed to the roast; if I have not confirmed it, ask me first. Keep the reply warm and a little self-deprecating about one harmless habit, if my facts include one, with no reference to race, religion, gender, sexuality, disability, body or weight, health, money trouble, breakups or grief. Tag any detail that needs a fact I did not give you with [VERIFY], and do not invent a quote or a story. End with one line that thanks the room by name, but only if I have given the names.

Build a one-page plan for the two weeks before [NAME]'s retirement party on [DATE]. Plan week by week, with consent as the day-1 step of week one: on day 1, [NAME] says yes to the roast in writing. Then draft in week one, cut to [MINUTES] minutes in week two, and read it aloud with two colleagues on three days of the final week. Put each task in a table with columns Day, Task, Owner and Done, and leave the Owner column blank for me to fill. Tag any task that depends on a detail I did not give you with [VERIFY], and do not invent deadlines or events. Add one check that no line touches race, religion, gender, sexuality, disability, age, body or weight, health, money trouble, breakups or grief.

Here are my shared memories of [FRIEND NAME] and me: [SHARED MEMORIES]. Turn them into a table for a 30th birthday roast with the columns Memory, Joke, Who Was There and Needs Check. Give one joke per memory, under 25 words each, and make each joke about a choice they made rather than who they are. Only roast a friend who has said yes to the roast; if I have not said so, ask me first. Avoid race, religion, gender, sexuality, disability, body or weight, health, money trouble, breakups and grief. Tag any joke that depends on a fact I did not give you with [VERIFY], and do not invent events, places or people.

Give three options for the title of a 40th birthday roast booklet for [FRIEND NAME], for a group of [GROUP SIZE] friends. Ground each option in [FACTS YOU KNOW], and tag any title that depends on an inside joke I did not tell you with [VERIFY]. Each title is under eight words, followed by one sentence on why this group will get it. Pick the one I should use and explain the pick in two sentences. Titles are only for a friend who has agreed to the booklet; ask me first if I have not confirmed it. Keep out race, religion, gender, sexuality, disability, body or weight, health, money trouble, breakups and grief. Do not invent a nickname or a date.

Write a numbered list of six roast lines for [FRIEND NAME]'s 40th, in this order: an opener, a travel story, a cooking habit, a wardrobe habit, a callback to [SHARED PHRASE], and a closing compliment. Each line is under 30 words and uses only these facts: [FACTS YOU KNOW]. Leave a slot blank if no fact fits. The friend must have agreed to take the heat; if I have not said so, ask me before writing. Steer clear of race, religion, gender, sexuality, disability, body or weight, health, money trouble, breakups and grief. Tag any line that uses a fact I did not give you with [VERIFY], and do not invent stories or quotes. Keep the compliment last.

Set up a friendly roast battle warm-up between [FRIEND A] and [FRIEND B] for five rounds. Both must have said yes to trading light jokes; if I have not confirmed it, ask me first. Put one round per row in a table with columns Round, Line from A and Line from B. Each line is under 20 words and uses only these shared facts: [SHARED FACTS]. Tag any line that depends on a fact I did not provide with [VERIFY]. Do not invent history between them. Never mention race, religion, gender, sexuality, disability, body or weight, health, money trouble, breakups or grief. End the table with one warm line from each friend.

Write a 150-word story about [FRIEND NAME], told in the third person the way a close friend would tell it at a 40th birthday. Use only these shared facts: [SHARED FACTS]. If my facts include a moment when the friend became a legend in our group, open with it; otherwise open with the most vivid fact I gave you. Tell one funny episode and end on what the group still says about them. The friend must have agreed to be the subject of a roast story; if I have not confirmed that, ask me first. Keep out race, religion, gender, sexuality, disability, body or weight, health, money trouble, breakups and grief. Tag any detail I did not give you with [VERIFY], and do not invent a single event, name or place.

Write a family-friendly roast of [NAME] of about 100 words for a party where [GRANDPARENTS OR ELDERS] will be present. Use only these harmless habits: [THREE HARMLESS HABITS]. The guest of honour has to have said yes to a family roast; if I have not confirmed that, ask me first. Keep every joke clean, with no swearing and no drinking jokes, and no teasing about race, religion, gender, sexuality, disability, body or weight, health, money trouble, breakups or grief. Do not invent anecdotes or family history, and tag any line that depends on a fact I did not give you with [VERIFY]. End with a warm line thanking [NAME] for the time they give the family.

I need ten one-liners for the group chat roast of [NAME] after their [MILESTONE]. Each line is under 15 words, written like a text message, and uses only one of these facts: [FACT LIST]. Check with me that [NAME] has agreed to group chat ribbing before you write anything. Number them 1 to 10. Keep away from race, religion, gender, sexuality, disability, body or weight, health, money trouble, breakups and grief, and replace any line that could hurt, saying so in one line at the end. Mark any line that needs a fact I did not give you with [VERIFY], and do not invent events or nicknames.

Write three light replies to a friend's post, pasted here exactly: [FRIEND POST]. The friend has agreed to banter in this thread; if I have not told you so, ask me first. Each reply is under 25 words and has a playful tone. Pick the one I should send and give a one-sentence reason. Stay away from race, religion, gender, sexuality, disability, body or weight, health, money trouble, breakups and grief. Tag any reference to a fact that is not in the post with [VERIFY], and do not invent details that are not in the post.

Rewrite this group chat roast so the whole family can read it aloud: [PASTE GROUP CHAT ROAST]. Rewrite only once [NAME] has agreed to the group roast; if I have not confirmed it, ask me first. Keep the warmth and the structure, and change any line that teases looks, body or weight, health, money trouble, marriage or private life. Keep out race, religion, gender, sexuality, disability, breakups and grief too. Give the new version in under 120 words, then list each changed line with the reason in one line. Do not invent new facts or quotes, and tag any line that still needs a fact I did not give you with [VERIFY].

From my list of ten roast lines for [NAME], pick the three strongest and say why in one sentence each: [TEN ROAST LINES]. Pick only from my list and do not rewrite any line. Choose lines that use a harmless habit and land on the guest, not on the room. Only pick from a roast [NAME] has agreed to; if I have not confirmed that, ask me first. Discard any line that touches race, religion, gender, sexuality, disability, body or weight, health, money trouble, breakups or grief, and say which ones you discarded. Tag any pick whose strength depends on a fact I did not give you with [VERIFY], and do not invent context for a line.

Write captions for a slideshow of [NUMBER OF PHOTOS] photos for [NAME]'s roast. Here are my notes on each photo, one line per photo: [PHOTO NOTES]. The guest must have agreed to a slideshow roast; ask me first if I have not confirmed it. Output a table with columns Photo, Caption, Risk Level and Check. Each caption is under 14 words, funny but kind, with no insult. Keep captions away from race, religion, gender, sexuality, disability, body or weight, health, money trouble, breakups and grief. Skip any photo that shows an unhappy, medical or private moment. Tag any caption that depends on a fact I did not give you with [VERIFY], and do not invent what is in a photo or who is in it.

Build the run order for a [MINUTES]-minute roast of [NAME] with three speakers: [SPEAKER LIST]. Use [JOKES OR NOTES PER SPEAKER] as the only material for each speaker. Give a numbered list of six segments. Each one shows the speaker, a time stamp in minutes, and, from segment 2 on, one callback to an earlier segment. A callback reuses a line from earlier, not a new fact. The guest of honour must have agreed to the roast; if I have not confirmed that, ask me before you set the order. Keep every segment free of race, religion, gender, sexuality, disability, body or weight, health, money trouble, breakups and grief. Tag any callback that relies on a detail I did not give you with [VERIFY], and do not invent any segment or story. Put the most sincere segment last.

My roast of [NAME] went quiet after joke number [JOKE NUMBER] at [PARTY TYPE]. Troubleshoot it from these symptoms: [WHAT HAPPENED IN THE ROOM]. Give a table with columns Symptom, Likely Cause and Fix Before the Next Joke, with no more than eight rows. Then say what to do with the rest of the set in two sentences. Only use a roast [NAME] agreed to; if I have not said so, ask me first. Never answer a silence with a joke about race, religion, gender, sexuality, disability, body or weight, health, money trouble, breakups or grief. Tag any cause that depends on a detail I did not give you with [VERIFY], and do not invent what the crowd thought.

Plan the delivery of a 60-second roast for [NAME] at [VENUE]. Use this timing: set-up for 5 seconds, three beats of 15 seconds each, a 5-second pause, and a 5-second close. Write the plan as a numbered list, and give each beat a pause mark, a breath mark and one stage note. Keep the content to my own lines: [THE LINES YOU PLAN TO SAY]. Plan only a roast [NAME] has agreed to; if I have not confirmed that, ask me first. Keep out race, religion, gender, sexuality, disability, body or weight, health, money trouble, breakups and grief. Tag any stage note that needs a detail I did not give you with [VERIFY], and do not invent new jokes or claims.

Write a checklist for the night of [NAME]'s roast at [VENUE]. It has twelve items in three groups: Before, During and After. Include a backup line for the moment the microphone fails, and a rule for who can veto a line on the night. In the Before group, add a check that [NAME] has agreed to the roast; if I have not confirmed it, ask me. Keep out race, religion, gender, sexuality, disability, body or weight, health, money trouble, breakups and grief. Use checkboxes. Tag any item that needs a fact I did not give you with [VERIFY], and do not invent staff, times or venue details.

Score my roast draft of [NAME] line by line: [PASTE YOUR DRAFT]. Score only a roast [NAME] has agreed to; if I have not confirmed that, ask me first. Give a table with columns Line, Kindness Score from 1 to 5, Problem and Safer Rewrite. Mark any line that touches race, religion, gender, sexuality, disability, body or weight, health, money trouble, breakups, grief or private pain as Remove. Finish with a three-line verdict. Tag any line that needs a fact I did not give you with [VERIFY], and do not invent details to make a line funnier.

Act as a comedy coach helping me roast myself at [PARTY]. Write five short self-roast lines using only these habits of mine, [THREE HARMLESS HABITS OF YOURS], and this story I tell about myself, [ONE STORY I TELL ABOUT MYSELF]. Each line is under 18 words and ends on a warm turn. Keep my own jokes away from race, religion, gender, sexuality, disability, body or weight, health, money trouble, breakups and grief, and skip any past relationship. Tag any line that uses a fact I did not give you with [VERIFY], and do not invent stories, failures or past partners.

Write a 90-word message I will send to each speaker before [GUEST OF HONOUR]'s roast, with [MINUTES] minutes each and the agreed rules. The roast has been agreed by [GUEST OF HONOUR]; if I have not confirmed it, ask me first. The message lists the rules in plain words: keep it kind, keep out race, religion, gender, sexuality, disability, body or weight, health, money trouble, breakups and grief, and send any line that is unsure to me first. Use only these run details: [RUN DETAILS]. Tag any detail I did not give you with [VERIFY], and do not invent a time, a rule or a name.

Write three options for a toast that starts as a roast of [NAME] and ends as a compliment. Each option is under 90 words and follows this order: one harmless habit from [THREE HARMLESS HABITS], a turn, then a sincere line about who [NAME] is to the room. Only roast what [NAME] has agreed to; if I have not said so, ask me first. Avoid race, religion, gender, sexuality, disability, body or weight, health, money trouble, breakups and grief. Pick the best option and give a one-line reason. Tag any detail I did not give you with [VERIFY], and do not invent a story or a quote.

Write a short message I can send to [GUEST OF HONOUR] themselves, asking whether they are happy to be roasted at [PARTY]. The message is under 60 words, casual and clear, with one yes or no question and a line inviting them to name any topic that is off limits. This message is the consent check: the roast goes ahead only if [GUEST OF HONOUR] says yes. Do not invent details about the party or any shared memory, and tag any detail I did not give you with [VERIFY]. The message must not mention race, religion, gender, sexuality, disability, body or weight, health, money trouble, breakups or grief.